I spoke with a VP this week who told me something I hear all the time: ‘I’m spending so much time in meetings and discussions that I barely have time to actually think about where we should be headed.’ She was frustrated. Exhausted, really. And here’s the thing—she’s smart, capable, and deeply committed to her work. But she’s drowning in requests for her time and attention.

Sound familiar?

If you’re a senior leader, especially in a startup or fast-growing organization, you know this tension well. There’s an unending stream of meetings, Slack messages, requests to weigh in, fires to put out. And beneath it all, you’re trying to do the strategic work that actually moves the organization forward—the work that only you can do.

The challenge isn’t just about time management. It’s about making conscious choices about where you add the most value. Because here’s what I know: the further up the ladder you are, the more demands there will be on your time.

And here’s what else I know: you will never fully achieve what you want, and your team won’t step into their full capacity, until you model great use of your time and talents.

The Core Principle

Before we get to the four questions, let’s start with the guideline that should inform every decision about your time:

Spend your time doing those things that only you can do in your organization.

That means focusing on work that your team isn’t capable of doing because of their level of expertise, because it transcends across teams and requires your authority, or because it demands strategic conversations with leadership that you’re uniquely positioned to have.

If someone on your team can do it, they probably should be. And yes, that means investing time up front in delegation—giving them the What, the Why, and the desired Outcomes, letting them discover the How, and setting milestones to measure progress. In the long run, that’s the only way you free yourself up for highest-value work and help your team members grow.

Four Questions to Ask Yourself

Knowing you should focus on high-value work is one thing. But in the moment—when you’re getting pinged about another meeting or asked to weigh in on yet another decision—how do you actually decide?

That’s where these four questions come in. When someone asks for your time or involvement, run through this quick filter:

1. Is it mine? Is it really mine?

First, ask yourself: is this actually my responsibility, or does it belong to someone else on the team?

Often we get pulled into things simply because we’re senior, because we’ve always been involved, or because someone wants the comfort of having ‘the boss’ in the room. None of those are good reasons.

Or, sometimes, it’s just nice to be looked upon as the expert. We get a little hit of dopamine by being involved. Also, not a good reason.

If it’s not yours—if it lives squarely in someone else’s domain—step back. Coach them, give them context, make sure they have what they need, but let them own it. This is how they grow, and it’s how you free up space for those problems that actually need you.

2. Is now the time?

Maybe this is your responsibility. But does it need your attention right now? Is this a truly current priority?

I’ve watched leaders get pulled into decisions way too early—before the team has done the groundwork, before the options are clear, before anyone’s really thought it through. What happens? You end up doing their thinking for them, or you’re back in another meeting later revisiting the same territory.

Sometimes the answer is: ‘Yes, this is important, but not yet. Come back when you’ve narrowed it down to two options and can show me the trade-offs.’ You’re not being unhelpful. You’re being strategic about when your involvement adds the most value.

3. Will this unlock someone or something in a significant way?

This is where you lean in.

Maybe your involvement isn’t strictly necessary, but if you show up—if you make a decision, give direction, provide air cover, or connect the right dots—something important moves forward that otherwise wouldn’t.

This could look like:

• Removing a blocker that’s been holding up a critical project

• Making a tough call that your team needs but isn’t empowered to make

• Providing strategic clarity when the team is stuck between competing priorities

• Championing a team member’s idea with leadership in a way they couldn’t do themselves

If your involvement creates significant forward momentum or helps people do their best work, it’s worth it. This is where you use your position and perspective to amplify the team’s effectiveness.

4. Can I give an honest and supportive ‘yes’ without sacrificing my boundaries or subjugating my focus and priorities?

This is the question that protects you.

Maybe the first three questions all say ‘yes’—this is yours, the timing is right, and it’ll unlock something important. But if saying yes means you’ll be resentful, overwhelmed, or pulled away from work that matters more, you need to pause.

Can you show up fully present and supportive? Or will you be there physically while mentally running through your own to-do list, frustrated that you’re not getting to what really needs your attention?

An honest, bounded yes is worth more than a reluctant yes that leaves you scattered and ineffective. And sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is say, ‘I can’t be fully present for this right now, but here’s how I can help you move forward anyway.’

Here’s some language that might help: “What you’re working on feels really important and I’d like to be involved. However, right now I am not able to give it the attention it deserves. Let’s plan to discuss next Tuesday, after we’ve completed this other deliverable….” In this way, you’re meeting the person’s need for certainty and significance, without overcommitting yourself.

Putting It into Practice

Here’s my suggestion: pull up your calendar and look at the next two weeks. Find three commitments—meetings, check-ins, working sessions—and run them through these four questions.

For each one, ask:

• Is it mine?

• Is now the time?

• Will this unlock someone or something in a significant way?

• Can I give an honest and supportive yes without sacrificing my boundaries or subjugating my focus?

If the answer to most of these is ‘no,’ decline or delegate. Make sure your organization is still represented appropriately—hand it off to a team member with clear context, or let the organizer know who would be better suited to participate.

Then pay attention to what happens. How much time did you free up? Were the meetings able to accomplish their goals without you? In most cases, you’ll find that good things happened—maybe even better things than if you’d stayed in the weeds. And you’ve just bought yourself several hours for higher-level work.

A Final Thought

I know this isn’t easy. The reason you’re in so many meetings is because you care deeply about doing good work. You want to be supportive. You don’t want to let people down.

But here’s the truth: Only you will make your time and energy important. You’re capable of contributing at an even higher level when you protect your time and focus on what only you can do. Your team will be better for it. And you’ll be able to show up as the leader they actually need—strategic, present, and focused on what matters most.

You’ve got this.