I’m wondering if you’ve ever witnessed this — or been part of it yourself. This is inspired by a recent conversation with a highly successful founder.

You’re asking a star performer to take on something new. A new role, a new initiative, a new way of seeing the business. And while they don’t disagree, the actual change never seems to happen.

The dialogue often sounds like this:

“I don’t get it, I just had my third conversation on this topic with Sara and she still hasn’t wrapped it up.”

“What’s getting in the way, do you think?”

“I really don’t know. She’s really capable and nods her head like she gets it when we talk about it. We set some milestones and she makes a little progress but nothing significant’s really been accomplished. And this could be a nice win for her.”

“How many times have you spoken with her about it?”

“Maybe three or four.”

“And no real progress?”

“Right, at least not how she’s taken on her other priorities.”

“And how did you pitch the idea to her?”

“Oh, I think I was really explicit. I told her what I wanted and how to approach it. She’s taken some steps but it’s nowhere near finished. She doesn’t even seem too enthused about it.”

The Problem

So what’s going on with a high performer who typically doesn’t need much supervision, yet doesn’t make the change you’re asking for?

The surface problem might well be that your team member isn’t feeling engaged in the problem or the opportunity. She’s not feeling ownership.

The underlying problem might be that you’ve been too helpful. You’ve provided so much guidance that the person doesn’t take it on as her own.

We commit to what we create. That is, when we’re able to contribute our own thinking, our own creativity and resourcefulness, we feel more ownership — and we’re likely to be more engaged in delivering a great product.

What the Research Says

Turns out there’s real science behind this.

Way back in 1948, researchers Coch and French established that participation in shaping change reduces resistance to it. Change comes about faster when people have some voice in it. Autonomy, or self-determination, is a core human need, and when we meet that need, engagement increases (Deci & Ryan).

Research done among IKEA customers showed we value things more highly when we complete them ourselves. Key word: complete. We don’t value unfinished projects nearly as much — which is worth sitting with. This isn’t just “give people a say and they’ll be engaged.” The contribution has to land somewhere real.

So How Can I Apply This?

Convey the WHAT and the WHY. Leave the HOW to your team member.

Trust them to find solutions, to bring their own resourcefulness and creativity, to approach the problem from their perspective. It’s OK to brainstorm with them as needed. And it’s terrifically important to be clear about the outcomes you’re seeking — and why you think this person has the unique strengths and capability to solve it.

When people are experienced and don’t typically need much oversight to do their work, this is a great opportunity to unleash them to find the right solution.

To be clear, this isn’t about abdicating responsibility or being lazy in your leadership. You still have to use good judgment in giving people agency and latitude — not every situation calls for it, and not every person is ready for it.

But when you can do it, people’s engagement, confidence, and overall capability rise. They grow in their capacity to solve problems and contribute at a higher level. That helps them — and it enhances your capacity as a leader, too.

This might not be easy, though. Our own need for control might take over and you’ll feel compelled to ‘just tell them what to do.’ Ask yourself in those moments, ‘Is giving this person my answer the best way for this person to grow?”

From that place, the right action is to do less and trust more.